Made

I'm back! Well, I hope I'm back. It feels like I've spent the past few months in a time vacuum. Days wiz past faster than I had ever imagined.

Many days I question if I am really equipped for this whole "mom" thing. It just seems that some people are made to be moms. Not to say that these "made" mommies don't struggle and find themselves looking for five minutes of quiet and find those five minutes locked in their closet with a glass of wine. I certainly don't doubt that. But on the bad days I usually say to myself that I just wasn't made for this kinda work. Like a 4'11", 95lbs person probably isn't cut out to be a lumber jack. But I make it through and will, cause that's what mommies do.

I'd like to think that part of what keeps me half sane is the nutty things the kids do. For instance....
On a particularly challenging morning (which translates to a morning with two time outs each, hitting, crying and me finally just accepting that I won't be at work by 8am) I got in the truck practically in tears only to look in the rear view mirror to see the boys fist pumping to Stone Temple Pilots. I could I not laugh....and cry.

Or the time when she spent the day shuffling around the house in those horrid, stupid, irritating plastic high heels saying she was really busy with her work. She collected random bits from around the house - an old remote, a napkin, something from under the couch (don't ask), and a few toys - and stuffed them into a small box. It looked hoarder-ish (a behavior I try to prevent). When I asked her what she was up to, she would only reply "I'm really busy. I'm working." You don't have to look to hard to see where that came from........

It's been months since my last post (this sounds like a confession). I don't have many excuses, well, I guess I have a handful of them - three kids, a husband, a home and a flourishing business. It's not that I haven't thought about blogging. I've thought about it a lot. Unfortunately thinking about blogging doesn't make it happen. Mr. Steve Jobs needs to get on an app for that.

Time. Or maybe lack there of. This has become a huge theme in my life. Time to get up. Time to get dressed. Time to leave. Time to work. Not enough time to get everything done. Time for dinner. Time for bed. Time to catch up on house work. Not enough time to get it all done. Time to rest. Not enough time to rest. Blah, blah, blah....

Sigh. As a result of time and lack of time, blogging has taken a back seat. Well, let's be honest. Blogging isn't even in the same vehicle. I had to let blogging out of the car. Each night I would vow to let it back in (along with other things that had been pushed out). Why it's happening today? Who knows. But I'm certainly not complaining.

She is now four. Four going on fourteen. Sassy (wonder where she gets that) and smart. Bad combination. She also has the memory of an elephant. Which is not in my favor either. She's constantly reminding me what I had said to her earlier - "Mommy, are you forgetting something?"
"Um, what?"
"You said that I could have a present if I was good all day."
"I did?"
"Yes. Remember when we were getting dressed this morning and you were brushing my hair."
"Oh, that's right."
"So where is my present?"

Gawd. She's only four.

The boys are two and there are two of them so that calculates to four. And that is how it feels. That there are four of them. Fights, yelling, choke holds, hugs, time outs, smiles, laughter, mine-mine-mine, me first.
It's a wild ride. They are amazing. The process of having them in my life is an amazing experience and I am so thankful. But......but wow. What a job. As I lay them down to sleep, kiss their heads, listen to their mumbled jabber as they chatter with pacifiers in their mouth, I am so thankful for their little faces but I am also so thankful that they are going to bed.

Time for a wee-bit of peace.